Dies Ater

copyright-adam-ickes     Photo copyright Adam Ickes

THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.) the group is hosted by Rochelle, each week we find an inspiring new photo on her blog: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
To see all the great 100 word stories of the weekly challenge use this link: http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=424094

I am happy with your comments! Since English is my second language I am glad about any help to improve grammar or terms.

I must try to remember what happened before I go mad…all those packing cases here…I don´t want to move, I live here – what happened –
I remember discussing on the stairs with Miss Banks from vis-à-vis…. She hates me, I am young and pretty and she is old and ugly.
Banks is an envious disgusting monster – She tipped my shoulder with a thin bony finger, started to complain immediately and when I called her an old annoying goat her glare hit me –

“Now bring the cases with the invoices, Gary!”
“´right Boss,”
Sir, help me, please….!
“Boss, what the hell is the goat doing here?”

Words: 104

 

10 Gedanken zu „Dies Ater

  1. I especially enjoyed this sentence: „when I called her an old annoying goat her glare hit me “ – it left me with the impression that her glare had a physical force about it, like a goat butting heads 🙂

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  2. Dear Carmen,

    Welcome back. It’s nice to see you here, If the goat is indeed the pretty young girl turned into a goat the last line would be clearer if it read, „what the hell is the goat doing here?“ meaning it wasn’t here before. The way it reads now conveys the meaning, „what’s the goat’s job here?“
    I hope this makes sense.

    As always I applaud you for writing in a second language.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • Thanks Rochelle, I already changed this…actually I had a problem with this sentence and I was noch sure if the sense was right. I was so busy the last month that I didn´t write one word – I am glad the muse kissed me last week 🙂 and it feels good to join the group again.
      Thanks for all your work!
      Liebe Grüße
      Carmen

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    • hi Claire, thanks for reading and your comment! I wanted to describe the forefinger „tipping“/“tapping“ on the shoulder – I am not shure which word would be better. According to the dictionary „to tip“ is more that what I in my mind. But never trust a dictionary 🙂
      Liebe Grüße
      Carmen

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