The witness

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.) the group is hosted by Rochelle, each week we find an inspiring new photo on her blog: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

To see all the great 100 word stories of the weekly challenge use this link: http://new.inlinkz.com/luwpview.php?id=353888

I am happy with your comments! Since English is my second language I am glad about any help to improve grammar or terms.

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I came back to the house after ten years. Like a dunning red forefinger it stood there, staring at me with one blind eye. Brian´s body never had been found, I was the suffering widow. My pain was huge, around fifty million dollars. But all the time I heard the house calling me. It was ridiculous, such a fucked something could never be dangerous. I stood right in front of it, looking in it´s eye, when I heard it scream. The red wall collapsed and buried half of my body. Now I am the prisoner of the only witness and the sun is so hot…hot…

Genre: crime

Words: 106

After few weeks I am back to FF, thanks Rochelle for the inspiring prompt this week! Happy New Year to all of you!

16 Gedanken zu „The witness

  1. Very surreal. I loved how you kept the idea of the window as an eye going. I’m not sure about the word dunning in this context. And in a very minor grammar way, in this sentence: ‚I stood right in front of it, looking in his eye‘ – I think you should either change the ‚his‘ to ‚its‘ or the ‚it‘ to ‚him‘. But still fantastic English.

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