THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.) the group is hosted by Rochelle, each week we find an inspiring new photo on her blog: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
To see all the great 100 word stories of the weekly challenge use this link:
http://www.inlinkz.com/wpview.php?id=325879
This time I felt like writing a poem- what an adventure! It is this the kind of lyric I write in German, line breaking, playing around with words – so I hope imploringly I didn´t use any ridiculous or completely wrong phrases – comments and help with the language are welcome, as always! I hope you enjoy my first attempt in poetry here…
We were the black and
the white
the perfect sound of
our love
a warm coat in
this cold world
now the
pain rises
inside of me like
water in a swelling river
and silence
has nested in every
room
I believed in
you and me and
in the wonderful structure of verse
and chorus
and bridge of our life
Now our love
has fallen
silent the rooms
don´t breath your perfume
anymore
I see my heart
lying in the dust
there is no beat no
music
nothing to hear
no
love
Genre: poem
words: 95
Beautifully written, Carmen. So sad when the music between two people stops.
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thank you so much, Russel.
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Well look at you! A few weeks ago you were worried about writing stories in English, and now you’re writing poetry as well! This is wunderbar!
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thank you so much for reading and commenting – step by step I try to improve. Such encouraging comments help me to go on…
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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I think your stories are getting stronger and stronger, Carmen. I hardly think language is an issue! 🙂
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You are right – every week I learn a lot here. And if there is no time to write something else, I always try to write my 100 words story for FF. It´s also a kind of discipline. Reading the other stories brings so much input, week for week I am astonished about the fantastic ideas, so different, but all authors had the same prompt! Meanwhile it´s like meeting friends 🙂
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Yes! I find that this weekly exercise has helped my overall writing. It is always a good thing, to learn to be briefer, clearer. Reading the others (I generally get thru‘ the first 50 or so, at least), is so fun and interesting! Amazing what different people take, from the very same photo. I love it! 🙂
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briefer and clearer, that´s it. If there´d be a trash to throw in all the words, which I „cut off“ my stories – it would be more than full after writing the FF story 🙂
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Exactly!
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From another non-English speaker.. works very well for me.. tender and sad.
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Dear Carmen,
You speak a universal language in this poem. I can feel the heartache and the yearning. So very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you Doug – poetry seems to be in the air…yours was also inspiring last week!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Dear Carmen,
I echo Janet, „Sehr schön. Beautifully written. Heartfelt and tender.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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dear Rochelle,
thank you for reading – and for all your efforts each week! FF is so inspiring!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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That was such a lovely poem!
You expressed loving and then losing that love beautifully.
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Don´t we all know that quite well – the loving and the losing…
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Beautifully expressed, enjoye this piece very much.
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Thank you for reading and commenting, you are so kind!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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My pleasure
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I’m in awe of your talents – poetry in a language that isn’t your own . Well done.
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Thank you so much Sandra – your comment is very encouraging!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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It happens this way in love all too many times. 😦
Beautiful poem.
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thank you for your warm words – love hurts, that´s it.But writing helps –
liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Sehr schön!! I think it worked wonderfully.
janet
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thank you Janet – you know you inspired me 🙂
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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If so, I’m glad! Always good to be an inspiration. 🙂
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