There was not much left when the water withdrew. Miles behind the coast the destruction was not so heavy but still the car park of the supermarket was flooded.
“What is your name, Miss?”
The voice of the friendly looking young man seemed not to reach Eva´s ears.
“Miss? Where do you come from?”
Eva stared at the water, silently. Then with a sudden move she turned around.
“I didn´t let her off, “she said with a soundless voice.
“She must be here somewhere, I didn´t let her off, I´m sure -”
Shopping carts drifted in the muddy water like homeless boats.
Words: 102
This story I dedicate to all those, who survived any kind of catastrophe and feel guilty because they could not save their beloved ones.The title „homeless“ means not only the loss of a physical home but more than that the feeling of having lost the „Heimat“ of your heart.
wortwabe 
You conveyed the psychology very well; also, the sense of shock with ’soundless voice‘. Well done! Ann
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This was an amazingly well told story .. the terror and confusion… and that imagery of the carts… so sad…
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I always enjoy when someone who does not speak English as thier first language writes of a story so heartfelt. This pain knows no language barrier.
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thank you Dawn, you are right, pain is quite international..
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Nicely done! You wrote of the sense of loss so well. I’ve been homeless but I’ve never lost a loved one in a disaster
My friends and family who have survivor’s guilt have a spot in their vision that none of us can see or feel.
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one of my closest friends survived the tsunami in Sri Lanka and the years after that were really hard. That´s something that never will leave you, it´s like a stone, first it is big as the Mount Everest, with the years it becomes smaller, at the end it is small like a pebble you can carry in your pocket – but it is there. After nearly 10 years it is like yesterday for her. The pebble in her shoe.
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Gut gemacht! You communicated the deadness, the mental absence of the survivor really well. Bitte ein andere!
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„ein anderer.“ Mein Deutsch ist ziemlich schlecht.
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es ist super! Schreib mir auf Deutsch, das ist ein gute Übung 🙂 Thanks for reading and for your comment!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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sad and frightening. i loved how you described shopping carts as homeless boats. 🙂
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thank you KZ! I enjoyed yours also very much!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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There’s real mystery here, a mood… well done! You seem to be rocking this English thing. 😉
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oh thanks! Yeah, I also feel like getting better. I guess I reached the second step 🙂 this time I already could bring more atmosphere into the story. I always learn from the experienced like you. .
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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I think you’re doing fantastic! Can’t wait to read your next one. 🙂
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Oh, what a horrible terrible shock that would be. You came up with a truly chilling situation. Well done! 😀
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thank you, Linda!
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Beautifully atmospheric.
The ache is evident.
Very well written.
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thats what I tried to manage. This challenge is so helpful, after stumbling through my 100 words in the first attempts at FF, I can now try to find the words for atmo and emotion and anyway keep the 100 words border. How did Rochelle warn? It´s addictive 🙂 she was right,
thank you for your comment!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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If the homeless had boats, they would look just like these.
Your story captured loss and shock very well.
Thank you for sharing.
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thank you for reading and leaving a comment!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Carmen, a wonderful story about heartbreak and loss. You illustrated the multiply meanings of „homeless“ well.
janet
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thank you Janet, I think I have a subscription for the sad stories..
liebe Grüße
Carmen
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We have authors who write mostly sad, mostly happy, mostly horror, etc., so that’s just fine. I tend toward the happy but try to stretch myself to other types for my own good and so my readers don’t get bored. 🙂
janet
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since I am addicted to FF and also ambitioned 🙂 I will work on a funny one – that will be a real challenge for me I guess, lol
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Heartrending. I could feel it being just like that.
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thank you Linda for reading and your encouraging comment,
liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Beautiful and very well captured! Danke Shoen!
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thank you so much…just visited your blog…so you know quite well what I wanted to tell. I am proud, you liked my story,
liebe Grüße
Carmen
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I’m amazed at your confidence and your ability. Well done.
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thank you Sandra, I think there is more persistence than confidence 🙂 and a good portion of ambition!
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That was stark and beautiful. I could see the faraway gaze on Eva’s face.
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thank you for reading and taking the time to write a comment!
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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A masterful tale,told with incredible rhythm. I am sure you play the piano, you held the pace at just the right speed, even for 100 words.
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Thank´s for your warm words – yes I play the piano, better, I used too. I changed from piano to voice –
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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See! It shows in your writing!
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🙂
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Dear Carmen,
As i read your sorrowful tale I found myself in Sendai amid the devastation left by the receding tsunami. Thousands dead and loved ones sundered forever with only the once again calm sea to remind them of what used to be.
Yours was a wonderfully written and heartfelt piece. I can tell I’m going to be continually amazed by your facility with the English language. Color me envious.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
one of my closest friends nearly died in Sri Lanka December 2004, one of my colleagues died in Kao Lak with his wife, his sister and brother in law. Since this time the tsunami follows me and I witnessed with my friend, how hard it is for those who survive.
Regarding my improval in English: thanks to you all to comment on my blog, that´s a wonderful opportunity to talk in English – kind of conversation lesson for free 🙂
big hug from cloudy rainy Germany to Hawai
Carmen
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Dear Carmen,
First a grammatical English note. It should be „withdrew“ Aside from that, very touching, heartbreaking tale. Well told. I liked „like homeless boats.“
Shalom,
Rochelle
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thank you Rochelle for your helpful comment! Another new word for my private dictionary, since the translator gave me „retire“ – but I don´t think water can retire 🙂
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