“Maria, aren´t you here?”

the_second_hand_shop-1Walter stood in the open door of the secondhand shop. He stared into and held on to the doorframe tightly. I heard him calling, softly, as if his voice was from the exercise  as if his voice was strained  from the exercise:

”Maria?” and again: “Maria?” It broke my heart.

Walter had again disappeared after the breakfast. Meanwhile, I knew where I could find him. Many of the common furniture had landed after the death of his wife in the small secondhandshop few blocks from the rest-home. Maria had cared for him, without her help he could have lived no longer at home with Alzheimer.

“Maria, aren´t you here?”

Words: 100   101

Mein Beitrag zur Wochenaufgabe bei FRIDAY FICTIONEERS. 

Die Aufgabe ist: schreibe eine kurze Geschichte mit maximal 100 Wörtern zu dem vorgegebenen Foto. Die Aufgabe kommt aus USA, daher ist die Geschichte in Englisch. Nicht einfach, aber Übung macht ja bekanntlich den Meister!

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

16 Gedanken zu „“Maria, aren´t you here?”

  1. At school I learned Spanish and then went to live in France! I sing – often in German now – and am learning something of the language in this way. I know how difficult it is to translate from French to English and vice versa. I found it much easier to write directly in either French or English in the first place. You might try this. Write in English first not German. Anyway, nice to ‚meet‘ you and I liked your story, which is sad but realistically so. It happens! Ann

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  2. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, Carmen! „As if his voice was strained from the exercise.“ You are simply missing a single word; otherwise nice. This left me wondering who the narrator is? You mention Maria, but use „I“… who is the I/eye telling the story? Well done!

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  3. Dear Carmen,

    Wilkomen to the party, pal.

    What do you call a person who speaks three languages? (Tri-lingual.)
    And a person that speak two languages? (Bi-lingual.)
    And one language? (American.)

    I congratulate you for writing in English. Sehr, sehr gut.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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    • Hi Doug,
      good joke! But there are a lot of guys in other countries too, who only speak the native language, so never mind. I am happy I found this blog and it´s so exciting to be connected with you all. Wow. Next step is to get through all the stories of the other „Fictioneers“ without a dictionary 🙂
      love,
      Carmen

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  4. What a sad story! Having Alzheimers is something I think we all fear to some degree. How wonderful that Maria cares about him.

    Right here, „voice was from the exercise“, you need a few more words. „As if his voice hadn’t been used much“ or something like that.

    Sehr gut!

    janet

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    • Dear Janet,
      Thanks for your comment, and please, if there is any helpful comment for a better English term, I`ll be happy to improve. Long time ago when I learned English at school…it´s a challenge to write in English and to use only 100 words is even harder – but I love it, hopefully it will develop my discipline,
      love
      Carmen

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